27 January 2012

The 13 Steps of Labor

My Labor in 13 Steps

1. This isn't so bad.
2. Yeah, I'm rocking this out. Already 8 centimeters and no biggie with the pain.
3. Oh. Oh. Oh God. Why is she trying to escape out of my back?
4. Hey, where's the epidural I asked for?
5. Holy mother of %$^&&*&^$%##. WTF?
6. Ooooooohhhh epidural. That's nice.
7. Nothing to it baby. What contraction?
8. Wait, what do you mean you are taking my epidural away?
9. Okay, I'll just go fast before all that beautiful medicine is gone.
10. Oh. Ohhhh.. OH. OH. OH MY GOD. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? I WANT MY EPIDURAL BACK.
11. STOP TELLING ME TO HOLD MY BREATH. I NEED TO FREAKING BREATHE. HOW DO YOU THINK YOU'LL GET HER OUT IF I'M UNFREAKINGCONSCIOUS?
12. Ewwwww......
13. Wow. Would you look at that? She's awesome.



Madison Paige
7 lbs. 14 oz, 21 1/2 in

56 comments:

  1. OMG! Trisha, congratulations! She's beautiful!

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  2. Oh my gosh congratulations! She's gorgeous! And you're freakin hilarious.

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  3. She's gorgeous! I'm so happy for you all!

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  4. Ohhh she's precious!!! Congratulations!!!!!

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  5. OMG OMG!!! You had her! She is gorgeous! And yes that sounds like labor. But then you forget because they are so darned perfect and you are hopelessly in love. I'm so happy for you!

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  6. CONGRATS! :) She is so beautiful!

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  7. Congratulations, Trisha! She's beautiful!

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  8. Normally I don't say this, but she actually DOES already look like you!!

    So why'd they take your epidural away? I never had one of those. They terrify me. :D

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  9. and I hit publish before I meant to - congrats!!!!!

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  10. She's beautiful! Congratulations!

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  11. She's absolutely perfect. Many many many congratulations--hope you're doing well.

    and that hair! :)

    Oh...my heart

    icanwaituntiljulyicanwaituntiljulyicanwaituntiljuly

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  12. Absolutely beautiful! Congratulations. :)

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  13. I love that in the second one, she looks like she's rearing up to punch you…

    *gobbles up baby, with mustard*

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  14. Oh my goodness! Congratulations. I was so excited to see this post in my feed. And I cannot get over how much hair she has. Job well done. :)

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  15. YAYYYYY!!!! Madison is seriously gorgeous and SO AWAKE for a newborn. Greyson was the same way. So so so so so happy for you. And this is quite possibly the best birth recap ever.

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  16. congrats!she looks ready to take on the world in that second pic!

    ~L

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  17. Oh my gosh, she's adorable! Congrats, Trisha!

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  18. Welcome to the world, Madison Paige! Congrats, Mom, she's beautiful :)

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  19. Aw, she is so cute! And look at her in her little bear hat! Congrats!

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  20. Congratulations! She is definitely gorgeous and you made it through in one piece -- which is all that you can really ask for! Enjoy these first few days with your beautiful girl. :)

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  21. Congratulations, so very sweet. Your post is hilarious but oh so true.

    Love the name - my daughter goes 5 next week and is named Paige also.

    Enjoy all the moments

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  22. She's beautiful! And judging by pic #2, she comes with a bit of attitude. :-D Congratulations!!!!!

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  23. She's beautiful!! Congratulations to the entire family!

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  24. From the little I know about giving birth, this sounds like a typical process.

    It appears to have been worth it, though -- she's adorable! And I love the second photo the most. She's got a little 'tude, doesn't she?

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  25. Congrats!! She is gorgeous! Love love love the middle photo with the little hat!! You rocked it!!! I can't believe you are able to put together a sentence let alone write a hilarious post! So happy for you!!!!! Love the name!!!

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  26. She's beautiful! Love her name! Many, many congratulations!!!

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  27. Oh, she is so wonderful, and beautiful! I can't wait to see more pictures and to hear more about her! Congratulations to you on the new little one. She is just so perfect!

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  28. Congratulations! She is beautiful and her name is lovely. Glad to see you survived labor with your humor intact.

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  29. Oh wow, congratulations! She is absolutely gorgeous and adorable!

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  30. I know I said it before, but congrats again, Trisha :D She looks adorable.

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  31. Who's a cute little baby!?!? Congratulations!

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  32. Gorgeous baby and impressively short overview of the labor process. Any time I think of mine, I go right to the cursing. Congrats!!!!

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  33. Ohmygod! She is so freaking cute!!!!!! Congratulations Trisha :) awwww

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  34. I'm a bit late but congratulations!!! She is beautiful :)

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  35. Hooray! I came over today hoping to see this news. :-) Welcome Floppy Alienette aka Madison Paige!

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  36. She is absolutely adorable! Congratulations on your new baby (and wonderful description of labor). Made me giggle.

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  37. Oh she is so BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And lol to #3, man do I remember that! Congratulations!

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  38. How on earth did I miss this post!?! Congrats! She's beautiful :)

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  39. Madison is beautiful and so adorable! Congratulations!

    And January 27th is one of the best days to be born...I should know! So Madison is very intelligent, too!

    The 13 steps of labor are hilarious!!

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Talk to me baby!