13 Days of Halloween: Just Run Away

Things That Shouldn't Kill You, But Do

#3 Real but UnAlive Things Plants, dolls, your office chair: these are things that aren't supposed to have a brain. And yet these things seem intent on killing us! Plants are supposed to be not-all-the-way-alive, stationary, and benign. Unfortunately, there are a few plants who would much rather eat you. In Little Shop of Horrors and The Ruins, giant plants eat humans whole. Oh, there are the Killer Tomatoes too. Nothing should be more wondrously innocent than dolls. Unfortunately, the little buggers just won't stay inanimate. Chucky of course is the most popular of the doll killers. But we also have Sheridan Le Fanu's little blood-sucking-monkey-shape-shifter thing. #2 Dreams This one is just wrong. Dreams should not, no-way-no-how, be able to kill you. Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome (SUNDS) is about the loopiest thing I've ever heard of. A literal death from dreaming, SUNDS seems particularly popular among Hmong immigrants to the United States. Over 100 Southeast Asian immigrants have died from SUNDS since 1977. The Asian belief is that the cause is a "nightmare" in the sense that a being visits you in the night and kills you. Next up, we have people who believe that these people are dying from their dreams. Finally we have the rest of us who are choosing to ignore the occurrences because it just really freaks us out! #1 Not Peeing Yep, it's true. If you hold it too long, your bladder will explode, releasing your toxic urine into your body and in effect, poisoning you. Nuff said.