Because I'm pregnant. Typically, this is a joyous occasion marked by happiness and extreme excitability. For me, not so much. You see, I've been pregnant twice before, and both ended in miscarriage. I am further along now than I have been either of the first two times - I'm about 7 weeks now, both previous miscarried around week 4-5, but still 7 weeks is really early.
I definitely feel pregnant - my uptopnaughtybits hurt something fierce and I am consistently all-day exhausted in a way heretofore unseen except after dancing at a club all night. What this means is that my time is divided between three things : 1. Sleep. Lots of it. 2. Worry. Lots of it. and 3. Work. Not much of it.
And it's really too bad because I definitely have the time to read now. Because of my prior miscarriages, my doctor has me taking it very easy right now. No exercise more than walking. Said walking has to be done indoors on a treadmill because I'm not supposed to be out in the heat. I can't lift anything, bend or twist, etc. In other words, I have a ready made excuse to sit on my butt all day long and read. But what am I doing? Watching tv and taking obnoxious naps. Bad me.
This is more sharing than I am used to on the blog - I didn't even mention the first two pregnancies here - but one, I am trying to be hopeful, believing that this one will work out, and telling people about it is a sign of that; and two, writing like this, stressing out to you guys, is oddly therapeutic for me. I love you my bloggy therapists!!! :)
So once again, I am apologizing for being horribly absent around here and on your blogs. My presence is probably going to be spotty for a while. I have my next appointment on July 5, and if all is well, I think I will finally truly believe that I am pregnant. Then the happy and excited part can begin!
Oh Trisha, I really hope everything will work out for you. I truly have faith that it will.
ReplyDeleteYa know what? Sometimes naps and TV are what it's all about. When you pick up the right book and want to keep reading it then you'll know it's time to be reading again.
Trisha -- My thoughts are with you -- thank you for sharing this news with us. I can't imagine how you feel but it's no wonder you're sort of in a restless place where exhaustion takes over! (When I'm deeply stressed I can't read either!) I look forward to celebrating good news post-July 5th!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing something so personal. I use my blog to meditate on personal stuff in between the books and other pursuits and agree that it is theraputic! Sending good thoughts to you!
ReplyDeleteYou know I'm already sending you lots and lots of hugs. I really hope it all goes well. Definitely take it easy! I always had a hard time reading when I was pregnant, honestly, and spent more time watching movies and sleeping. I just couldn't focus on the words! I can sympathize. Take those naps, they're good for you. :)
ReplyDeleteSending lots and lots of good thoughts and prayers and vibes and stuff! Like Amanda said, those naps are good for you. Do what your body needs and take it easy. We're all thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, congrats! I'm sending lots of good thoughts your way and hope you and baby stay healthy!
ReplyDeleteWow, how exciting and scary Trisha! I have all the fingers and toes I can manage crossed that everything works out. Enjoy your naps and being a bum around the house -- sometimes that is exactly what you need.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping Month Le Suck ends soon and turns into Month Le Joy. I will send lots of healthy, positive thoughts towards you and mini e/e!
ReplyDeleteTrish, congratulations and my thoughts and hopes are with you. I really hope that everything goes well and that things work out. Bumming around and napping lots are definitely important. Hopefully once more time passes you can worry less. Thinking of you!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's very brave of you to tell us and I'm hoping that everything will be good this time. Take it easy and watch lots of TV.
ReplyDeleteCongratulation, Trish! I hope it'll work out this time. Don't worry too much, lots of women have miscarriages - I know, I had two myself before I had my two sons. So there's no reason to think it'll go the same way again.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I remembered being SO tired! Try and get all the sleep you can get, and make good use of your "condition" by ordering other people around instead of doing things yourself. :-)
I really hope it works out for you this time. Now you just focus on yourself and resting. The blog and us will be here whenever you find your way back. Keeping you in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMany congratulations to you. Take it easy, lady!
ReplyDeleteTaking it easy is totally important, and if your body wants to watch tv and nap instead of read, I would go with that! Besides, when you're done with the tv and nap phase, you'll have a whole new appreciation of books! :--)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, Trisha! I'm sending you virtual hugs and positive thoughts. And please don't feel bad for watching TV and napping! Sometimes that's just what you have to do. (I could do with either right now...) Take it easy and take care of yourself!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and good luck! I'll keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteSo so hopeful for you, Trisha. I had wondered where you were, but I know summer is a busy time for a lot of people.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find something in the next few weeks to keep you occupied and to help keep your mind off your fears.
Rest, and we'll see you back here soon enough. If you need any TV suggestions, let me know on Twitter...
Keep all my fingers crossed for you, Trisha, and sending you my very best wishes. Definitely take it easy - no guilt over not blogging allowed!
ReplyDeleteI'll be thinkin' of ya, Trish! If you need any advice on naps, I picked up some siesta techniques while I was in Spain- really advanced stuff, like the pros use.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and you definitely shouldn't stress about blogging (or lack thereof). We will be here whenever you feel like sharing, but until then relax!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I have recently had two miscarriages as well, so I know how you feel. It's really tough, and sometimes it seems impossible to be positive. Plus, I remember last time I was pregnant the LAST thing I wanted to do was read or blog, which explains my three month hiatus.
ReplyDeleteTry and hang in there and think positive. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
Such happy news! As each day passes may peace surround you both. I am sorry for the previous losses, it is exceptionally hard and I understand your stress.
ReplyDeleteYou're in my thoughts. Be well, both of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure this is stressful and exciting and confusing all at once. I'm sending good thoughts your way and keeping my fingers and toes crossed that things work out for the best. And don't feel bad about not reading or blogging. Just do what you can. Sending hugs and positive vibes!
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the luck...
ReplyDeleteI feel for you right now. I remember exactly how it feels to be pregnant after miscarrying...my hopes that this ends up being a smooth and uneventful pregnancy. Lots of positive thoughts going your way!
ReplyDeletehang in there. I hope it all works out for you. I can relate.
ReplyDeleteTrisha, I can imagine that after your past experiences that you are probably anxious and worried about this pregnancy, and that it totally understandable. It's also not the greatest combination for reading and blogging, and I can totally understand why taking a nap and watching TV is a lot more palatable for you right now. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for you, and that I hope everything works out with this pregnancy for you. If there is anything that you need during your downtime, just let me know, and I will be happy to help. And don't worry about not visiting the blogs. You've got enough on your plate right now as it is!
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS! I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that the only other things you have to deal with are morning sickness and cankles and boob sweat and having nothing to wear when you're nine months pregnant. I'll think lots of sticky thoughts for you! :)
ReplyDeleteBIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO COMMENTED OR EMAILED! Even after years of participating in the book blogging community, I am still happily surprised by how awesome all of you are! Thank you so much for the support and happy thoughts! You guys rock!
ReplyDelete(I totally ended every sentence with an exclamation mark....and I meant it!)
Trisha, take the time...no guilt...none at all!!! I'm sending vibes, hugs, smiles and positive thoughts your way and am so glad you shared this special news with us.
ReplyDeleteSleep, sleep and sleep some more...keep us updated :)
Oh Trisha--like I said on twitter, I'm sitting here just crying my eyes out for you--because of happiness but also because I empathize. I know all too well how you're feeling right now--I never really felt I could truly be sure of Little Miss until I could actually feel her moving around (18 weeks?). Every time I went to the doctor I'd hold my breath until she could find the heartbeat. It's tough and you every bit deserve to just sit your butt in front of the TV and get some comfort. I'll be thinking about you--as I have been these past several months--and wishing you all the happiness. I feel it's your time my dear.
ReplyDeleteXOXO.
Trisha I'm doing a happy squeal dance. You are such an amazing person and deserve amazing things. With all of these positive vibes going out in the universe, how could things not work out? Seriously. It's like we altered the electromagnetic field with warm fuzzies. (Um, and really, what IS the electromagnetic field? I'm totally talking out of my ass. I studied literature..)
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Congratulations! Sending you virtual hugs and positive thoughts!
ReplyDeleteAww, Trisha, what good news! My fingers are crossed for you and I'm sending positive energy your way. No one minds if you're a bit MIA -- take it easy!!
ReplyDeleteI wish you ALL the bestest and I am terribly sorry that it took me this long to see this post. I feel like an idiot cuz you really were in my thoughts but never when I was accessing the internet! Bad blogger friend me. But enough abt me...
ReplyDeleteCELEBRATE you and be safe and good. HUGS, Care
Congratulations! I am so happy for you. I hope everything works out. Miscarriages can be so hard to get through. Take care of yourself and watch as much tv as you want! :-)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! Just take care of yourself and do what you body demands - we will be here when you get back! Sending positive, healthy thoughts your way . . . .
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of love and positive energy, lady! I hope your next appointment goes well and you get safely through the first trimester. Hugs!!!
ReplyDelete-jehara
I am very happy for you - and will definitely keep you in my prayers for a safe pregnancy. And no guilt about not reading, blogging, etc. - take care of yourself and that little one you're growing!
ReplyDeleteAha! An answer! 40 comments later, I am here to congratulate you. And also tell you that sister, I've been there. I had two miscarriages before I went to a fertility doctor and gave nature some help. It is very hard to get excited about these things, and even once the "danger zone" passes you still worry because everyone has a horror story. Once I had my daughter through artificial insemination though, my son came naturally, like a switch got flipped on. (Before my daughter was one year old.) I'm going to cross my fingers that all goes well. The sickness is a good sign! God bless ya.
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