TAG! You're it, I'm it, We're all it...

My Channing-Tatum-obsessed friend Jenners still refuses to admit defeat, so yet another round of Tag!

• What book featuring real people do you think could work if the characters were switched to animals? I think I would like to see Auntie Mame redone with animals. A quick description: Patrick Dennis is sent to live with his eccentric Auntie Mame at the tender and impressionable age of ten. Mame promptly enrolls him in an all-naked all-the-time coed school...and he is promptly removed by his much more conservative trustee. From there Patrick's life is turned upside down and inside out by his aunt, who is determined he not turn into some briefcase wielding stuffed shirt.
  
  Now wouldn't that be cool is Patrick was like a tabby cat and Auntie Mame a cougar?


• What is your favorite piece of art? I've always really liked Edward Hopper's Nighthawks:
  
  But the Nike of Samothrace speaks to me too:
  


• What book would you recommend to be placed in every prison cell (a la Bibles in hotel rooms)? Hands down, House of the Dead by Fyodor Dostoevsky. On the one hand, The House of the Dead is a semi-autobiographical accounting of Dostoevsky's time in the Siberian prison which is totally appropriate. On the other hand, it is nice and time consuming due to length and language. And on the third hand, it's freaking awesome.


• If you had to devise your own system of torture, what would it be? Being locked in a room with [insert stupid annoying rick girl here i.e. Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Snookie or whatever her name is] on crack; (stupid annoying rich girl on crack, not the tortured on crack).


• What would be the most awesome thing about living in the Old West? Hats. Everyone wore hats and that is awesome.


• What is the most destructive thing you have ever done to a book? I burned my textbook for my Calculus II course. It had to die.
  


• Should a calendar start on a Sunday or a Monday? Monday. Definitely Monday. I like to think of my Sundays as the relaxing end of the week rather than the slow beginning of a week.


• What is your most idiotic fear? Bugs. I hate bugs. I am convinced the smallest and most innocent of them is out to kill me. Spiders, crickets, ants, all of them freak me out. I don't even want to get close enough to kill them.


• Who is your most inappropriate crush? There are a few actors that I find ridunculously and age-inappropriately sexy:
  
  Logan Lerman, for one; he's like what 20 years old?
  
  And then I go the other way to Sean Connery, who is just dead sexy at whatever age:
  


• What is the sexiest part of a man? Well, that depends on the man I guess, but overall I do get a bit gaga over the whole upper chest, shoulder to shoulder area. I want a man with the upper body strength to pick my chunky self up. :)


• Should we reduce the amount of questions from 11 to 5 for future rounds? Yes please. Five sounds totally reasonable. :)

And FIVE questions for Jenners by Jenners

1. If you were forced to change your name, what would you change it to?
2. What would a haiku describing your high school experience read like? (that's right. you do the haiku thing.)
3. If you wrote a memoir, what would the title be?
4. What are five words that rhyme with “kumquat”?
5. If you could live in a past era, when would you choose?