Welcome to Disturbia

Here's my lit riff - although it is not well done. I'm just not a short story kind of girl..unfortunately. I used Rihanna's Disturbia as the basis for my story. The lyrics are on the right and my text is on the left.

Shanna walked steadily towards the door, her heart pounding. Why had they come here? What were her parents thinking moving from their perfect home in western Montana for the killing fields of Hollywood? Shanna did not fit in. Her clothes, her hair, her voice, even the way she walked painted a bright red "NOT FROM HERE" sign on her forehead. She felt exposed, useless, uncomfortable with her family's newfound wealth and status. "Oh, just open the door you idiot," she whispered to herself. For three days she hadn't left the house. Unable to face the cold, manipulative irreality of the new life she was forced into, Shanna had retreated into herself, finding comfort in books, locked away in her bedroom. But she couldn't stay inside forever. With a sigh of self-loathing, Shanna opened the door and walked out onto the perfectly manicured lawn of her family's new home. She could smell the hydrangeas lining the fenceless boundary of her yard; she could see the perfectly manicured bushes placed strategically around the yard. The silence was deafening. No dogs barked - they had gone out of style after the Hartisan family dog committed the horrendous faux pas of licking the face of a preeminent judge. No children yelled and laughed in outside play - they were all busy taking gymnastics or dance or piano or Chinese or whatever was in vogue at the moment. "Okay, I've made it to the sidewalk," Shanna said, still talking to herself. "Now just take a walk around the block." As she walked, she looked at the flashy sportscars obscured by wrought-iron gates and bougainvillia. She half-admired, half-despised the clip-clopping of two girls her age as they sashayed down the driveway in their too-high heels with their too-tight skirts to meet two perfectly coiffed young gentlemen in a BMW something-or-another. As she walked, she thought of her home in Montana, the endless blue sky and green fields, horses traipsing freely in the countryside, flannel shirts, ATVs, and campfires. She missed home. But even as one foot fell in front of the other, her thoughts were changing. Each beat of her foot on the sidewalk exorcised one thought of home. In its place was born the diamond bracelet Candy had worn to school last week. The cherry red lipstick Mariane said was made just for her. The heart-pounding music that spilled out of the all ages club one needed an American Express card to enter. The coal black eyes of one of the BMW boys. She thought of Helena's flowing blond hair and with a mindless flick, she freed her own hair from her haphazard pony tail. Her mind's eye saw Jenna's hips swaying down the hallway, and Shanna unconsciously mimicked the action, taking shorter, more deliberate steps. When Shanna finally made it back home and entered her room, she, without thought, without remembrance, wondered why she had so many books, and wouldn't a victorian-style wardrobe look nice where her desk was?

What's wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? I'm going crazy now No more gas, in the red, Can't even get it started, Nothing heard, nothing said, Can't even speak about it On my life, on my head, Don't want to think about it Feels like I'm going insane, yeah It's a thief in the night to come and grab you It can creep up inside you and consume you A disease of the mind, it can control you It's too close for comfort Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder Ain't gonna play nice, watch out you might just go under Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered So if you must falter be wise Your mind's in Disturbia, it's like the darkness is the light Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight? Disturbia, ain't used to what you like Disturbia, Disturbia Faded pictures on the wall, it's like they're talking to me Disconnecting all calls, the phone don't even ring I gotta get out or figure this shit out It's too close for comfort, oh It's a thief in the night to come and grab you It can creep up inside you and consume you A disease of the mind, it can control you I feel like a monster Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder Ain't gonna play nice, watch out you might just go under Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered So if you must falter be wise Your mind's in Disturbia, it's like the darkness is the light Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight? Disturbia, ain't used to what you like Disturbia, Disturbia Release me from this curse I'm in Try to maintain, but I'm struggling If you can't go-o-o-o I think I'm gonna ah-ah-ah